Funny Jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Friday, 29 May 2015

Funny Adult Jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Funny Adult Jokes

Source Link:-Google.com

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A special LUNCH 4 u,
At da hotel of my Heart,
With a boul of love,
With spoon of care,
In the pot of Happiness,
Dish is friendship,
Pay the bill
by

A KISS.

3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

Girl : Do u love me more thn ur family ?
Boy : No
Girl : Why ?
Boy : okay Listen to dis.
when i started to walk I fell, u were not there to pick me up. bt my mom was
When i went outside, u were not there to hold my finger. bt my dad was
When i cried .u didnt give me ur toys to play. .bt my brother n sister did
My family iz more precious thn anythng else :)
GIRL: But ya when you Felt all horny & ol,
your mom or dad were not der 2 blow u,
I Was :D

Funny Adult Jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Clean Funny Jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Clean Funny Jokes

Source link:-Google.com

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor.

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin." Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?" "Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"

Clean Funny Jokes

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Funny jokes short Jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Funny jokes short

Source:- Google.com.pk

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Mom: get up Liam, you will be late for school

Liam: but I don't wanna go, all the teachers and students hate me

Mom: you have to go

Liam: give me one reason why I should go

Mom: your 35, and your the principal

Crush: Can i tell you something?

Me: Yeah

Crush: I Love U

Me: Really!!! I can't believe it!! :')

Crush: Yes, it is my favourite vowel

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Me: "Why did the chicken cross the road"

Friend: "Why?"

Me: "To get to the gay man's house"

Friend: "That joke is shit"

Me: "Knock-Knock"

Friend: "Who's there?"

Me: "The Chicken"

Funny jokes short Jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Funny blonde jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Funny blonde jokes

Source:- Google.com.pk

Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
A: Penicillin. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant. A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.
Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
Q: How do you get a blonde on the roof?
A: Tell her drinks are on the house.
Q: What's a blondes favorite bread?
A: Hump-per-nickel
Q: Why did the blonde douche with Crest?
A: She heard it reduces cavities.
Q: Why are blondes immune to men?
A: They've been inoculated so many times.
Q: What's a blondes favorite drink?
A: A penis colada.
Q: How do you know which blonde gives the best blow job?
A: Word of Mouth.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your friends use your toothbrush.
Q: How did the blonde lawyer sway the judge?
A: She dropped her briefs.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde football player?
A: She was an excellent wide receiver.
Q: What did the blonde name her watch dogs?
A: Timex and Rolex.
Q: What's the difference between the wind and a blonde?
A: Some days the wind doesn't blow.
Q: Why did they call the blonde "Twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Q: Why do brunettes work hard to keep their figure?
A: No one else wants it.
Q: Whats the worst thing about dating a blonde?
A: If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they.
Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: To keep their ankles warm.
Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought. Q: Why don't blondes get coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.
Q: Why does a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PhD in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.
Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip-code on her thigh?
A: She wanted a lot of male in her box.
Q: What is a blonde's favorite color?
A: Glitter.
Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: Who cares?
Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
A: They drowned in Spring training.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Funny blonde jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Funny dirty jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images

Funny dirty jokes

Source:- Google.com.pk

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.

‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.

I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''

Funny dirty jokes In Hindi for Kids for Adults In Urdu In English Photos Wallpapers Images